Christmas in Africa

I feel like I'm ok to start talking about Christmas, because at least Halloween has passed now. If you still aren't ready for Christmas carols or candy canes, come back in about a month and catch up.

Every family has unique holiday traditions. They might be based on religion, ethnicity, or simply what grandparents and great-grandparents set in motion. But everyone does something - even if it's sitting in front of the tv drinking beer and watching A Christmas Story. It's still something.

This next series is going to be looking at Christmas and the holidays around the world. A different country or region each time. I want to cover a lot, which is why I'm starting now. So deck the halls and grab some egg nog.

First we visit...Africa. And the first thing you must know is that they don't celebrate Kwanzaa, like you might be thinking. Kwanzaa is an African-American holiday, and largely unknown in Africa itself. Africans place the focus of the holiday on spirituality and being together with friends and family; much like we do, but without the attention to gifts and other commercial aspects.Aside from the basic principals, Christmas varies largely from country to country.

Ethiopians and Egyptians celebrate Christmas on a day that is January 7th for most of the world, but is actually December 25th for them. Other countries will be celebrating the same day as those of us in the US. But no white Christmas for them, since December falls in the middle of the African summer.

Although gifts may be exchanged, most families cannot afford this Christmas tradition. You won't find any Santa Clause and toy stores are rare, even in rural areas of Africa. Most gifts that are exchanged are practical items such as books or soaps, or a new set of clothes for church on Christmas morning. Much of Christmas day is spent at church, singing, acting out plays, or dancing in celebration. A meal may be shared with family and friends - and from my reading it seems goat is high on the menu.

There may be some decorating for Christmas, especially in store fronts and shops. Churches and homes may also be decorated, and instead of a pine you may find an adorned mango tree or palm tree. I'm guessing not many snowman images.

Lastly, you should know how to say "Merry Christmas"...so here you go.
Ghana - Afishapa
Zimbabwe - Merry Kisimusi
South Africa - Geseende Kersfees
Tanzania, Kenya - Kuwa na Krismasi njema
Ethiopia - Melkam Yelidet Beaal
Egypt - Colo sana wintom tiebeen
Nigeria - E ku odun, e hu iye' dun

Funny Translations: Movie Titles

Oh I see a mini series coming out of funny translations, but I'm going to start with movie titles. I don't know if it's someone using google translate, or just thinking they're apt at Japanese, but movie titles can get seriously twisted when sent to other countries from the US. Of course some titles are changed when they contain an American reference that wouldn't make sense in another country (Harold and Kumar go to White Castle was changed to Harold and Kumar get the Munchies in London, since they don't have White Castles...then again, does the US?!), or if a country might find our US title offensive. Either way...check out these title changes.

• Knocked Up - Slightly Pregnant, Peru (slightly...are you kidding)
• Grease - Vaseline, Argentina (I attribute this one to google translate)
• The Full Monty - Six Naked Pigs, China (accurate though wrong)
• American Pie - American Virgin Man, Hong Kong (ha!)
• Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - It's Raining Falafel, Israel (no meatballs for them)
• Die Hard with a Vengeance - Die Hard: Mega Hard, Denmark (don't just die...DIE!)
• Airplane! - The Unbelievable Trip in a Wacky Aeroplane, Germany (not going for simplicity)
• The Sixth Sense - He's a Ghost!, China (way to ruin it! you didn't even say spoiler alert)
• Home Alone - Mom, I Missed the Plane, France (well...yeah)
• The Parent Trap - A Twin Seldom Comes Alone, Germany (again...well, yeah)
• The Waterboy - Dimwit Surges Forth, Thailand (no football in Thailand?)
• Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - Austin Powers: The Spy Who Behaved Very Nicely Around Me, Malaysia (why even release the movie...seriously)
• Meet the Parents: Little Fockers - Zany Son-in-Law, Zippy Grandkids, Sour Father-in_Law (the Thais are so specific)
• Due Date - Odd Couple, Wacky Trip, Go Together in Time for Birth, Thailand (see!)
• The Cat in the Hat - Cat, Don't Touch His Hat!, Croatia (I think they missed the point)
• Babe - The Happy Dumpling-to-Be Who Talks and Solves Agricultural Problems, Hong Kong (I know, you were thinking Thailand)
• Field of Dreams - Imaginary Dead Baseball Players Live in My Cornfield, Hong Kong (again, with the spoilers)
• The Pacifier - A Super Kangaroo, Spain (I got nothin')
• The Long Kiss Goodnight - Bloody Christmas (rather apt really)
• Pretty Woman - I Will Marry a Prostitute and Save Money, China (I would think that would actually cost a lot)
• The Matrix - The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses, France (that's about all I thought of that movie too)
• Weekend at Bernie's - The Dead Body is Very Live, Spain (that is the general plot)
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - The Boy That Drowned in Chocolate Sauce, Denmark (way to hone in one a minute and half of a two hour movie)
• As Good as it Gets - Mr. Cat Poop (I don't even know...)

Well there ya go, that little list should have at least made you laugh.